This image sums up how I described my life to someone recently.
The rush of life going by as my days spin faster and faster has somehow become my norm. Becoming dizzy from the perpetual motion of one thing after another has left me yearning for the simpler things in life and for when things will slow down and I can once again gain my bearings.
But unlike a ride, which I know will eventually stop, I can't see an end in sight. Is this what it means when we say Time flies? Is this what people mean when they say life is busier when the children are older? Is this what my life has become - a constant blur of busyness?
It's not a nice feeling - this spinning from one thing to the next, never quite feeling in control. (I know I'm not alone in feeling this way). And while I enjoy having things to do - (I am not one to just sit and do nothing) - I don't enjoy the manic pace that some things demand. Yes, there are times when the blur of life is unavoidable - when commitments demand we race from one thing to the next without having a chance to catch our breath. But I wonder, how living at such an intense pace can be sustainable - or of benefit to anyone.
And for that matter, I've had enough.
I've had enough of feeling completely worn out at the end of each day.
I've had enough of feeling like a babysitter for my kids, rather than the parent they need me to be.
I've had enough of having my weekends full of so many things that family often comes last.
I've had enough of not having any time to pursue some of the things I so desperately want to.
I've had enough of the stuff lying around.
I've had enough of so many things vying for my attention that my mind feels constantly scrambled.
This is not a post to sound all moany and woe-is-me. More to highlight the fact (for me) that life is often lived at such a frenetic pace, and I often wonder WHY?
What is the point of rushing from A to B? What is the point of trying to juggle so many things at once? Why is 'being busy' seen as somewhat of a medal to be worn with pride? Enough, I say.
Last year, I implemented some changes in order to simplify our family life. And while those changes have been quite effective, the uncomfortable normality of days blurring into one another has led me to realise there is obviously room for improvement. Much more room.
My current, incessant pace has brought me to a place of questioning how I can simplify more and slow the pace, making time for things that truly matter.
And so, I have begun implementing a simple question as the benchmark for anything that enters my life - How much will this cost?
How much will this cost?
This is not necessarily in terms of finance, but also takes into consideration time, family, health and relationships.
Before I say yes to something, I have started asking How much time will this cost me, and ultimately, will its impact be beneficial or destructive?
How much will this cost my health? Will burning the midnight oil be beneficial in the long-term, or is it something that I can do without?
How much will this cost my relationships? Working every weekend is having a huge impact on my (not-so) social and family life, so how can I change that?
How much will this cost ME? Am I refilling my own tank so that I can continue to be the wife/mother/friend I want to be?
How much will this cost?
At the moment, the relentless pace of my life IS costing me - in time, health, family and relationships and it's certainly not the way that I want to live. I am ready for change.
How do you slow the pace in your home?