Patience has never been one of my virtues. I'm not sure if it's a red-headed thing - like a quick temper, or resistance to hair-dye - but I know that I certainly don't like waiting. If things don't happen when I want or how I'd like them to, it doesn't take long before frustration sets in and I start the huffing and puffing. And yes, I know that makes me very much like a bratty two year old.
Thankfully, I have matured a little over the years. But every now and then my patience is tested, and I am left stomping my foot in annoyance.
Like in recent months.
When I wrote the last post about my decision to take a break from here (and other things in my life as well), I was doing a lot of huffing and puffing and foot stomping. I didn't like having to stop, because in my mind, I was failing. It wasn't about the writing (because sulking about that would just be silly), but certain goals and dreams I had were cumulatively coming to a halt and I really didn't know for how long, or what the final outcome would be. All I knew was that for a time, I had to wait. And I really didn't want to do that.
I don't like putting things on hold indefinitely. I don't like waiting for things to return to normal. I wanted everything to continue on as it had been and somehow cram it in to the already-manic pace I was living. But it couldn't be done. I fought long and hard with myself about the best plan of action, and finally came to the conclusion that I needed to completely stop those things because other priorities were more pressing, and for that time, I needed to take a break and pour my focus into them.
Cue lots of foot stomping. And huffing and puffing.
Like I said, patience is not my best quality.
As I was mulling over how and when I could juggle everything, a small voice whispered, Just wait. There was that word again - the thing I'm just no good at. Wait. Ultimately, with everything going on, I had no choice but to do just that.
And so I waited. And I waited. And a funny thing happened in the waiting. I found clarity. I found time to think about purpose and structure and forge out a plan for when things returned to 'normal'. I found time to reassess priorities. I found enjoyment in the in-between times. I found myself taking the time to treasure the moments rather than rushing ahead to the next. And I found myself enjoying the slower, although still stressful, pace of life.
I learned that waiting can be a good thing.
You see, sometimes we do just have to wait things out so that growth and change can occur before we're ready for the next thing. If I had rushed ahead instead of waiting, I know the outcome would have been so much different to what it is now. I probably would have hurt those around me, relationships would be damaged, my job would be in jeopardy and I would be burnt out. Without the waiting, I would have also missed other opportunities and blessings that came my way.
Despite my protesting and foot stomping, I learned that there is a perfect time for everything and if we rush it, if we don't wait, we miss the chance to grow and learn and ultimately we miss the better outcome.
Good thing I waited.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.